The other day I came across the quote in the title. I thought it a little strange but mainly alluring. When I thought about it more I was able to see how that could be true. Today I believe it to be fact.
In some way or another I have willing walked into, and with out consciously knowing it, agreed to an open relationship. There has never my any means been any labels placed nor has it ever been discussed. How can this be so you might ask? Simple. I continue to come around when the guy who says "he's not in the right place for a relationship" calls and asks me to come over.
I pointed out a truth to my friend the other day as she wondered how her similar situation came about. She had put off sleeping with this new guy and even after knowing he "wasn't ready" proceeded to sleep with him. A week later he has yet to call. "How did this happen" she asked. I looked at her and responded with as much love and honesty as I could, "you wanted intimacy and he wanted sex." He got what he wanted and she got what she wanted even if it was only this one time. When we are in the middle of being wooed and swept off our feet it is hard to see how any guy could easily walk away when it is all said and done. Don't they feel the deep connection that we felt when our bodies intertwined and became one? How do they blow it off so easily? I wish I had the answer.
So back to this intriguing quote of accepting what we think we deserve, how is it that so many women have managed to happily waltz right into an incredible disaster we so desperately want to call a relationship? Is that the problem, are guys able to read that we are so desperate for some type of intimacy that we are willing to play by their rules? When did society shift and we begin to worship the male ego rather than the beauty of all that is female? At some point in time men have gained all the control and here we as women have been laying at their feet waiting for master to give us the next command. How would she in all of her glory of everything beautiful gain her respect and control back?
Now I know that it is not all the females populations fault. Men have significantly changed in the course of time as well. Instead of mutually wanting to please their partner they have gained the mindset of how can a partner please them. And if that's not enough how many of those females that catch their eye can they take home with them?
So lets try to find the issue. Why do women today believe they deserve nothing more than some of the worst guys out there. Let's take my mother for example. She is gorgeous. Now I know most people would say that about their mom because it's their mom, but my mom is the kind of mom you never brought around boyfriends and guy friends because they all had the same initial reaction, "your mom is so hot!" Yea I know thanks for rubbing it in. Anyway she has gone through two failed marriages to guys who treated her less than sub par when they were together, as well as the boyfriends that came after. As I have gotten older my frustration has grown because I see my mom and I know what she deserves. Not just from a child perspective but from a critical one. I have seen more than my fair share of the good, bad and ugly and still can objectively say she deserves a lot. She is an incredibly strong woman who has gone through heck and back and at the end of the day she is still trying and still striving for something more. However, the guys she dates are nothing to write home about. It is the same guy she dated twenty-two years ago when she dated and married my dad just different body. Now don't get me wrong I love my dad and he is not the person he used to be. They were children when they had me and have long since grown up, but mom still goes after the same type of man. Having said all of that my question is why do women allow themselves to continue on this path of letting history repeat itself? What is so ingrained in our heads that we subconsciously tell ourselves that this is as good as it can ever get because I don't deserve someone better? Why do we continue to keep ourselves in our own emotional prison going back and forth to the same thing? How on earth can we ever break free from this? And then please someone tell me how kill the fear when someone good comes along? Instead of pushing away that nice guy because we think that they have something to hide and are afraid of getting hurt, how do we begin to trust again? How do we let ourselves open up freely to what we truly deserve rather than what we think we deserve?
